fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
