there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
