so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
