You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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