He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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