I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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