Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
