mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
