You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize