Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
