You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
