Three words: puerto rican gang bang
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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