Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.

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(660): View more from Missouri

We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.

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(718): View more from New York

you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

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(360): View more from Washington

Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.

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(425): View more from Washington

Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?

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(334): View more from Alabama

So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.

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(785): View more from Kansas

what did we do after we left your crib?

(316): View more from Kansas

you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.

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