having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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