We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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