I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
