Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
