If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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