If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
