I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
