I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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