I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
