They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
