there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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