I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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