I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
