she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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