I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
