I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
