a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
