Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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