Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
