Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
