he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
