My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I love having hate sex.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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