Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
