I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
