i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
