how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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