I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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