Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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