why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
