Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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