shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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