My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
