I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
