yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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