she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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