just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
