Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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