Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
